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“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 (NIV)

Love was everywhere around us. Embellished on candy. Cutesy cutouts posted on starch white walls. We counted them one by one these tiny hearts arranged carefully on my son’s hospital tray. Valentine’s Day was the occasion for such sweet treats, and the nurses wanted to make sure we all felt loved.

Seven days prior feeling loved was not on my mind. My daughter, Tiffany, had slipped quietly into the arms of Jesus. Meningitis consumed her tiny two year old body. Now just days after her memorial service, we were sitting in the same hospital with my son, Chris. With symptoms that mimicked his sister’s, I wondered how a loving God could conceive of taking another from my empty arms. Was He blinded to how much I loved my children? Did He feel the trembling shake in my steps and the rapid beat of my heart? Overwhelmed, I doubted the love of my God who had taken us on this journey.

We made it out of that hospital days later; my son escaped a meningitis scare and was feeling better. Me, well that was another story; my new norm was drowning out the truths I had held onto for years. Fear overwhelmed my every move and questions flooded my waking hours – Did God really love us?

Ever find yourself in that place of doubt, confusion and utter darkness? Perhaps like me, you’ve experienced some journeys to places you never planned to visit. Questions that tore at the core of everything you believed. Desperately crying out for God on one of the most love saturated days of the year.

What did God whisper to my weary soul? Words I had memorized from the time I was six – John 3:16. God’s most beautiful love message to the world. Dismissing His tender words, I found He wouldn’t leave me. Repeatedly, God echoed His love for me.

My daughter had left this world against my wishes and ran into the arms of Jesus – whole, well and living a perfect life. God had freely given His Son into this dark world all because of His great love for us. Pain, suffering, and death characterized His journey but would not be the end of His story. Resurrection would come paving a way for us all to run into His open arms. Love washed over me like never before – I was loved, we were loved by One who gave His all for us.

“Father, I will never forget the sweetness of Your love overshadowing me in my darkest places. You are truly the Lover of my soul.”

For His Glory

Janet Martin
TRBC Women’s Life