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“If the world hates you, know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” John 15:18-19

Fitting in with peers has always been a thing. I can recall a scenario from my early elementary school years when my friends had a playground discovery that they all had the same zipper brands on their jackets. Then they actually made up a little song about it and were dancing around singing it. (Nope, not kidding.) However, I did not have that zipper brand—or a zipper, for that matter. It’s crazy that I can still experience the visceral sense of not fitting in.

And that was well before the insidious addiction of social media that pulls young people (and not-so-young people) into an abyss of approval-seeking. Likes, shares, and comments are what matters—and the more attention, the more valued one feels. For teens, this often means standing out from the norm…the more bizarre or provocative the post, the more “support” and affirmation one is likely to receive. Conversely, without enough likes—or with negative commentary—teens (and younger kids) can sadly come to believe their life is not worth living.

But that need to “fit in” is really a need to “fill in”—to fill in the soul-level God-shaped hole we each have. And there are not enough “likes” to do it. Nor bizarre behavior or sand-shifting self-identification. Our desperate pursuits of self-glory will only create more emptiness. We can try to fit in by people-pleasing, alcohol, sex, drugs, doing good, or breaking bad. I promise you, the void will just expand.

Friend, only surrendering to God will satisfy that emptiness. We must receive the free gift of forgiveness and grace—the great exchange of our imperfection and sin for the perfection and sinlessness of Jesus Christ. Accept the price paid on our behalf on Calvary’s cross…and celebrate His victory over sin and death. For me. For you. Only then will our soul be filled by the Holy Spirit—God Himself—as our Counselor, Comforter, and Advocate.

It’s impossible to “fit in” to this world because we were not made for this world. As fallen people in a fallen world, we must return to God, surrendering ourselves to Jesus. When we do, there is a peace that passes understanding, a desire to please only the Audience of One, and a need to glory in the One who loves us with an unfailing, steadfast, un-forsaking love (1 Corinthians 1:31).

“Lord, there is such a pull to fit into this world, even in all its darkness and brokenness. I pray that those desperate for love acceptance will turn to You, their Creator God and the very definition of love (1 John 4:8).”

For His Glory

Julianne Winkler Smith
TRBC Women’s Life