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“One thing I do know: I was blind, but now I see.” John 9:25

We started attending a new church not long ago. It’s pretty incredible. For thousands of reasons. And, although I’ve already jumped into serving in a variety of ways, I’ve been experiencing impatience and antsiness lately. It’s hard to explain…but let me try.

My husband and I are in the stage of life where our kids don’t live with us (and, sadly, they’re not nearby). Like many of you (because of geographical or emotional distance), our church people are our family. And, although we both work full time, we’ve got a lot of time on our hands. So, our hearts are to serve the Lord—not to earn His favor, but in response to His love and grace toward us.

For me, I just want to do God’s will for my life—dig daily into His Word every day, glorify Him in all I do, and SERVE…the quandary, though, is that I don’t know where or how He wants me to serve in this new church. Now, please know that it is an understatement to say that this church is on fire. The Lord is doing mind-blowing things, and it’s awesome to watch. And, like a horse at the gate, agitated to bust out and race, I’m anxious for the Lord to say, “THIS is where I want you…go!”

But He hasn’t said anything like that. My sweet sisters in Christ have counseled me to “wait on the Lord” and “be still” to hear from Him. And that’s where I’ve tried to be—but more confusion swirls up in my head. Anybody else been there?

While in prayer with Him, the Lord reminded me that I am to use my testimony. I didn’t surrender to the Lord until age 30, so suffice it to say, I was pretty lost. And my sanctification story for the past 25 years has also not been rainbows and butterflies. He has walked (carried) me through some very, very hard times. I couldn’t imagine coming through those storms without Him. Then, my response was, “Yes, Lord! I need to use these things in ministry—because otherwise, these testimonies are wasted…so WHERE? HOW?” I land back where I started, and more confusion sets in.

In sharing with my husband (and with much emotion), I said, “Why is this so hard? It’s ultimately simple: I was dead, and now I’m alive.” His response was a mic-drop moment. “You’re muddled and anxious and antsy because, for the enemy, those are the most dangerous words.” Boom.

Satan comes only to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). He wants people to stay lost, blind, and dead. This is a win for him. And he wants to steal joy and contentment from those he cannot destroy (believers). By muddling and confusing those of us who have been reconciled with the God of peace—keeping us from experiencing the peace of God—he keeps us quiet and ineffective. And although he cannot take our salvation, he can certainly take us off course from the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20).

My church has myriad ministries in which to serve: protecting the unborn, special needs, foster care, first responders, and human trafficking—just to name a few. But no matter where I (or you in your church) choose to serve, the purpose is always ultimately the same: go, love, and share the good news of Jesus. And the message is clear: “I was dead, now I’m alive in Christ…and you can be too.”

So, let’s get to it—and remind Satan that he has already lost.

“Lord, we love You because You first loved us. And we serve in response to Your gift of salvation to us. Remind us daily to seek opportunities to demonstrate Your love, mercy, and grace to others.”

For His Glory

Julianne Winkler Smith
TRBC Women’s Life