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“Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.” Proverbs 21:23 (NLT)

Have your words ever gotten you into trouble? Have you uttered thoughts out loud—either under your breath or at the top of your lungs—that you wish you could have taken back the moment they left your lips? How often does your tongue betray the ugly truth of your heart?

As for me, the answers to the above questions are yes, oh yes, and way too often.

Although Scripture has a lot to say on the matter, you don’t have to be a Bible scholar to know the power of the tongue. Our flesh is a formidable foe, and it’s so easy to use our tongue in a way that’s hurtful—to another person and to ourselves. And, much like squeezing out toothpaste from its tube, once spoken, our words cannot be “put back” or become unspoken.

So, how do we keep our tongue from evil (Psalm 34:13) and ensure our words are used to bring comfort and edification? Here are three simple instructions found in God’s Word. Simple, yes. Easy? Well, not so much.

1. Listen first. “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” (Proverbs 18:13) When having a discussion (or disagreement), it’s easy to start formulating your response without really listening to the other person. Instead, try to focus on what they’re saying, parrot back what you heard, and ask questions of clarification. Not only will we prevent foolishness, but we may quickly come to a mutual understanding.

2. Watch your tone. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) When a situation is emotionally charged, our words can be as well. The same exact sentence can carry polar opposite meanings depending on our tone of voice. This is an area of personal struggle for me. In fact, sometimes I don’t even realize I’m using a “harsh tone” until someone (usually my husband) “lovingly” points it out.

3. Be gracious. “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6) When we greet each day with the gratitude of God’s grace in our own lives, recalling that we’ve been spared the punishment we deserve thanks to Jesus Christ, extending grace to others starts coming more naturally.

“Lord, set a guard over my mouth and keep watch over the door of my lips, so that I may bring comfort and peace—and not pain or anger—by the words I speak.”

For His Glory

Julianne Winkler Smith
TRBC Women’s Life