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“Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” – Ephesians 4:26 NLT   “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” – Psalm 4:4 NLT

I’m like some other women, maybe you. I tend to suffer indignities silently, especially when the offending person has good intentions. Secretly, I congratulate myself on my “patience” with them when what I’m actually doing is avoiding the problem. I say, “Well, that’s just how she (he) is.” The offense may happen time after time. Then one day, it’s like someone throws a switch, and I’m full-blown furious. How did that happen?

Did your loving husband ever get on your nerves? Did your sweet kids ever set you off? Did your boss or a friend ever take you for granted and push you until you were hanging on by your fingernails? Then you know what I’m talking about. Minor, and sometimes major offenses build up until we just…can’t…take it…anymore.

If you confide in a Christian friend and ask for prayer to be able to handle your emotions, she is likely to quote the last part of Ephesians 4:26: “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (I still laugh at the memory of what I thought as a child when I first heard that verse. I wondered how anyone could control the sun and not let it go down. As an adult, I understand this means not to go to bed nursing your anger.)

It’s easy to quote that memorable line, but we neglect the first part of the verse: “And don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Paul was quoting Psalm 4:4 when he wrote that, and for most of us, that is more easily understood. “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” Excellent advice. Anger is not the sin; it’s how you handle it. So, after thinking and praying about it overnight, what do we do?

Rather than suppressing anger as some magazine articles recommend (exercise, yoga, etc.), the Bible emphasizes responding properly. James 1:19-20 advises us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James is describing a conversation here with the one who has offended us, or the one we have offended. Talking with your emotions under control is easier before the anger builds up until you think it’s unmanageable. Bringing up the subject isn’t easy, but it’s the best way to clear the air. Enter into it with prayer. Speak wisely and make sure Jesus is part of the conversation. Don’t be discouraged; even if the situation doesn’t get resolved the way you want it, it’s never too late for God to help you forgive and heal your anger.

“Father, anger is a difficult emotion for us to deal with, but you’ve programmed us for anger for a reason. Help us to use it wisely, to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and eager to understand. And Lord, please be present in the solutions.” 

For His Glory

Cherie Harbridge Williams
TRBC Women’s Life