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“Then the king said to me, “What would you request?” So I prayed to the God of heaven. Then I said…” Nehemiah 2:4-5a

Not sure about any of you all, but I’m a talk-thinker—I guess the official term is “verbal processor.” Often, when a question is asked of me (whether at work or with friends or family), I just open my mouth and the words start flowing. Sometimes, by the time I get to the end of said wordflow, the conclusion does not resemble the beginning all that much. In fact, with my clients, I frequently find myself saying, “Now, bear with me, I’m processing as I’m speaking…”

Most of the time, everything turns out just fine in this verbal-thinking mode of mine. But not always. Sometimes (way too often), when I open my mouth without first head-thinking, I hear words of judgment or complaining or defensive rebuttal roll off my treacherous tongue (Proverbs 21:23; James 3:1-18; . (And, sadly, this is usually with my husband.) Or, when I’m attempting to give godly, Bible-aligned wisdom to a sister in Christ, I lead with what I think or feel. This advice is usually based on seasons the Lord has led me through or from the years I’ve spent in His Word. But—and it’s a great big but—how often do I stop first to “pray to the God of heaven” (Nehemiah 2:4) for wisdom? Ouch.

So, what a great reminder it was in diving into the first few chapters of Nehemiah. Eight little words (in the NASB), innocently stuck within the amazing story of this brave cupbearer to the king. Like Ezra, Daniel, and Esther, Nehemiah had been elevated to a place of honor even in Jewish bondage. As cupbearer, Nehemiah had a daily audience with the king. Now, he knew the promises of God—and the unfaithfulness of God’s people, which led to their mass exodus out of Jerusalem. The book of Nehemiah is an awesome testament to God’s Providence, so I recommend you delve in yourself. But the context here is that in Nehemiah’s sadness about his people and Promised Land, the king noticed and actually cared enough to ask Nehemiah what burdened him. After Nehemiah shared the reason for his sorrow, the king asked, “What would you request?”

Wow. This is a big deal. But instead of Nehemiah rambling on about the woes of the Jews or rehashing past wrongs to eventually get to a request, we read those eight words: “So I prayed to the God of heaven.” Even the presumptive “so” is astounding! It’s like he’s saying, “Well, duh, the obvious first thing to do is pray to God before I think or say or do anything.” [Spoiler alert: What came out of Nehemiah’s mouth was a succinct request (cushioned with a compliment), as well as a definitive plan of action.]

What a great lesson for us all—simple, yet not easy. These eight little words must become our “so” habit. And habits take effort. And repetition. So, will you join me in pausing to pray before speaking? Before we share, advise, judge, ask, or even “observe aloud,” let’s ask the Sovereign One for guidance. In fact, we have the third Person of the Trinity living in us for such wisdom—the Holy Spirit is our Counselor just waiting to be tapped in before our tongue takes over.

“Lord, may we search Your Word for the countless truths of how to use (and not use) our words. And may we daily (moment-by-moment) pray to You before speaking.”

For His Glory

Julianne Winkler Smith
TRBC Women’s Life