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We have been talking about forgiveness and grace and what God expects of us as His followers. Yes, we are asked to forgive, but we are not asked to forget or stay in hurtful relationships. Did you know He also gives us guidelines to deal with those who continue to display hurtful behavior toward us?

Proverbs 14:7 (NLT) states: “Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.” Depending on the relationship, this can be difficult, but it is the advice from King Solomon in Proverbs. If you have asked someone to stop hurting you and they will not listen, God tells us to stay away from them.

Proverbs 18:2 tells us that, “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.”  There are some people who will not try to understand how they have hurt you. They only want to talk.

If you have someone in your life who continues to use their words to hurt you, remember Proverbs 12:18, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”  If someone continues to be reckless with their words, do not expect them to begin speaking kindly.

When all else fails, Proverbs 22:10 tells us to, “Throw out the mocker, and fighting goes, too. Quarrels and insults will disappear.” Again, God is telling us that if we want to have peace, without fighting, arguing, and insults, we need to walk away from this relationship. It is sometimes easier to think you are working with another believer, but someone who continues this behavior is not walking with the Lord and we are to deal with them as such.

The important thing for us to remember is that when we honor God and His ways, it gives God a chance to work. He has designed these principles for a reason, and it is up to us to trust that He knows best.

Lastly, Proverbs 26:24-25 tells us,

“Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are. Be sure to answer the foolish arguments of fools, or they will become wise in their own estimation.”

These verses show us that we need God’s wisdom(James 1:5) to know how to answer a fool. There are times when we do not answer their arguments and times when we do, especially in the presence of others when truth needs to be known. We can see these examples in the life of Jesus. He stood silently before King Herod (Luke 23:9), but he answered the Pharisees and shared the truth in front of others who were listening. (John 8:12 is one of many examples.)

The conclusion of Let’s talk about Grace is that forgiveness is required of us, but we do not have to stay in relationships when others continue to hurt us. God gives clear boundary lines to help us. Grace is a precious and expensive gift God offers to each of us. It is never to be used as an excuse for ungodly behavior of any kind. Grace is offered freely when our hearts are repentant because we understand our choices have hurt the heart of God and the heart of others.

“Father, thank You for Your extravagant gift of grace extended to us. Help us to be agents of Your grace and welcome the boundary lines You establish as we engage with others.”

For His Glory

Terrie Tollerson (feel free to follow me @TerrieTollerson or check out my website at TerrieTollerson.com)
TRBC Women’s Life