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“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13 (NIV)

Just a few weeks ago, we celebrated the start of a new year and a new decade. One thing I always loved about a new year was getting organized. I developed a habit many years ago of using the down time from Christmas to New Year’s to sit down with my calendar and plan out my year. Anxiously awaiting all the wonderful things that year would bring.

Eleven years ago when our son died, I felt like the calendar became an enemy of mine. What at one time documented so much hope, now only held sorrow. The silence of empty days overwhelmed me and paralyzed me with fear.

Paul writes in Philippians 3:13-14 “forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” When we lose a loved one, moving forward in life seems an insurmountable task. Fear tells us that if we move forward, we are letting them go. That we will forget them. There’s this feeling of guilt that we have let them down by continuing to live. Fear says there’s no way you can live without them.

But fear is a liar.

There were many days of overwhelming sadness and years of sleepless nights. There were numerous occasions where I felt the pain would certainly kill me.

I made a conscious decision to continue to press on towards Christ. In pressing on, I had to let go of the fear that kept me paralyzed. I had to surrender it under the powerful blood of Jesus Christ.

Pressing on means lifting the heaviness of the heartache we bare to Jesus. We don’t forget our loved one. They are never more than a thought away. But the heaviness of our load lessens in time, if we keep our eyes on Jesus and not the pain.

During this most recent holiday season, I purchased my new calendar for 2020. I sat down and started doing what I did so many years ago. Writing in dates of birthdays and events coming up. In doing that, I found myself grateful at how God hears our prayers and restores. My calendar is no longer empty. It is very full of life. Down time happens when I intentionally pencil it in.

If you are facing a season of loss, I want to encourage you to press on toward Jesus. Allow Him to bring life into those empty days. Letting go of fear is not letting go of your loved one.

“Father, remind us that until you call us home we are here to reach others for the Kingdom. The only way we can do that is by pressing on heavenward into Christ. Help us not be paralyzed by our fear.”

For His Glory

Laura Holmes (www.EphraimMinistries.org)
TRBC Women’s Life