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“Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.” Proverbs 3:17 (NIV)

The dreaded confrontation – no one eagerly embraces conflict. In fact, we often bury it deep in hopes that it will never resurface again. Ever done that? We want what we want now. We know the best way to do the task – to accomplish the goal – our way is the most productive way. We like things the way they are – we don’t want to change or compromise. And so underneath all those wants, we shrug our shoulders, stomp off and give in for the sake of harmony on the surface. Deep below nothing could be further from the truth – boiling conflict always rises back up.

So why do we so avoid dealing with tough differences? Is it the fear of being wrong? Or perhaps it’s just the admitting that we don’t know how to maneuver through to a win-win. Maybe avoiding the issues convinces us to falsely believe that not talking about it will somehow ensure a safe resolution.

Conflict quickly resolved has the potential to quickly dissolve. Conflict left to simmer has the potential to continuously overheat.

The best way to face differences is found on bended knee. When we bring conflict before a Holy God, who sees and knows all things, we can trust Him to show us how to respond. Humility has a way of unveiling impure motives and levels the debater. It reminds us that God has always been the instigator of unity even in the midst of opposing opinions.

Gaining the advantage, dominating and asserting our authority without consulting God will either escalate the issues or squelch the voice of one. Wouldn’t it serve us better if we honestly listened to God and others? Choosing to let go of self and determined that resolving a present issue would strengthen the relationship.

Never met anyone who regretted working through to reach win-win.

“Sweet Jesus, we lose sight of You when we focus on us – what we want. Help our eyes to always focus upward and seek peace even in the midst of conflict.”

For His Glory

Janet Martin
TRBC Women’s Life