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“I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:2 (NIV)

I had waited so long for this gift.  It represented coming of age, so to speak.  A mark of confidence.  The wait was long as was the struggle. I veered off course more than a few times. But now, the package had arrived. I eagerly pulled back the bows as the lid of the box popped open.  I dug into the tissue paper.  The colors surrounding my prize were as vibrant as the blue sky following a rain’s downpour.  Even my sense of smell was awakened. And as I examined my long awaited reward, I realized this wasn’t the gift I’d ordered.

This wasn’t what I was told it would be. Not what I had planned for. Certainly not what I sacrificed to get. I took the longest road to get here.  Gave up more than most would.  Overlooked. Forgotten. Placed on hold.  And now.  The gift-giver would not accept a return.  Not even an exchange.  I was asked to do the inconceivable. I was asked to accept the misplaced order, change my entire approach and continue on.

I had no idea that it’s not the gift that makes the person but rather how the gift is used.  “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1).  As much as I love an afternoon nap, rest during my trial had nothing to do with reviving one’s energy.  My rest was active.  I needed to actively grip my Savior’s hand and allow Him to lead.  To lead the change, to lead my heart, to lead where I could not go.  What would most glorify Christ?  No bitterness became my prayer.  Oh, how I appreciated my godly sisters who had perspective I did not and who encouraged me to stay the course.

Days of this journey turned to weeks and eventually my sojourn did end.  Looking back, I realize that the greater gift was in the unexpected.  Glorifying Christ at each turn, acting on His principles, focusing on His love produced a work I could never have on my own. Nothing was left undone. His fingerprint was on everything. Rather than hurt, He healed.  The end result was more love, more trust and preparedness to move on.

“May we trust You, Lord. May Your gifts draw us closer to You.  May we more clearly reflect Your glory within a world of division and decay.”

For His Glory

Kathryn Hayman
TRBC Women’s Life