Posted by: trbccoffeebreak | November 2, 2022

Diffuse Don’t Ignite

“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” Proverbs 15:1 (NLT)

Like many couples, a division of labor at our house creates a sense of harmony. Some couples decide ahead of time who will be cooking the meals for the week. Others may plan who is saddled with the icky jobs like cleaning toilets or taking the trash out. While I would prefer never taking the trash out or going to the grocery store, there is one job I dread above all others which my husband has so graciously taken responsibility for. My love for my husband increases exponentially when he performs this task, allowing me to avoid it entirely.

I despise making phone calls. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy catching up with family and friends on the phone on occasion. However, I would rather clean a toilet than call Direct TV to try to get a better deal. I prefer doing dishes (every single dish in the house) over calling the insurance company to clear up a procedure they failed to cover. Presented with the choice of dusting or calling a credit card company to cancel our account, I will choose dusting every time.

My husband has a way with customer service representatives that eludes me. I get frustrated too easily with what feels like their unwillingness to help me. My conversations with customer service representatives end in a stalemate, leaving me fuming in anger. My husband, on the other hand, speaks with kindness and clarity. He asks the representative’s name and how his/her day is going. He is so kind that generally he ends the call with more than we were asking for.

As followers of Christ, we do not have the option to avoid distasteful activities. We may be confronted with angry people. Angry, hurt, disgruntled people may present logical or illogical claims against us. Anger or hostility may be directed at our friends, our church, and/or our families.

Our key verse calls us to calm the situation, as much as it depends on us. We can choose to speak with words that honor and bring glory to God. These may not be the first words that pop into our minds. Those negative words would probably be better off swallowed and consumed in the acid of our stomachs. Our key verse directs us to take a deep breath, exhaling words that bring life and not death, words that restore and not destroy, words that extend grace and not condemnation.

“Lord, may we seek to speak Your words of love and grace in every situation. May we lead others to the cross for restoration and healing. Thank You for Your grace in our own lives.”

For His Glory

Tammy Randlett (
TRBC Women’s Life


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