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“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13 (NIV)

In January, we celebrated the start of a new year. One thing I always loved about a new year was getting organized.  I developed a habit many years ago of using the downtime from Christmas to New Year’s to sit down with my calendar and plan out my year.  Anxiously awaiting all the wonderful things that year would bring.

Fifteen years ago when our son died, I felt like the calendar became an enemy of mine.  What at one time documented so much hope, now only held sorrow. A canvas I would have filled with their activities. Yet now the silence overwhelmed me and paralyzed me with fear.  It was a painful reminder of 365 days of emptiness ahead of me.

Paul writes in Philippians 3:13-14 “forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

When we lose a loved one, moving forward in life seems an insurmountable task. Fear tells us that if we move forward, we are letting them go. That we will forget them. There’s this feeling of guilt that we have let them down by continuing to live. Fear says there’s no way you can live without them.

But fear is a liar.

There were many days of overwhelming sadness and years of sleepless nights. There were numerous occasions when I felt the pain would certainly kill me. But by the grace of God it didn’t.

I made a conscious decision to continue to press on toward Christ. In pressing on I had to let go of the fear that kept me paralyzed.  In the beginning it was a moment-by-moment process.

I also had to let go of my plans that once filled the calendar and surrender my future days to His plans.  Pressing on means we are picking up our cross daily.

Fifteen years later and my calendar is quite full of life these days. Downtime happens when I intentionally put it on the calendar.  All because of the wonderful opportunities God has blessed me with.

If you are facing a season of loss, I want to encourage you to press on toward Jesus.  Allow Him to bring life into those empty days.  Letting go of the fear and pressing on toward Christ is not letting go of your loved one.

“Father, remind us that until you call us home we are here to reach others for the Kingdom.  The only way we can do that is by pressing on heavenward into Christ.  Help us to not be paralyzed by our fear.”

For His Glory

Laura Holmes (www.ephraimministries.org)
TRBC Women’s Life