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“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.” Proverbs 17:17

Would you consider yourself a “good friend” to others in your life? What does that mean to you, and what kind of action is required in being a friend? Of course, friendship is about fun times, laughter and adventure. And it’s about support and encouragement in those darker seasons of life. Friendship involves saying the right thing at the right time…and saying nothing at all. Those of us who have even one close friend are incredibly blessed.

Like the Proverb above says, “A friend love at all times.” In joys and sorrows. Through thick and thin. (Wait, is anyone else thinking waistline here?)

But there’s another nugget of truth in Proverbs worth acknowledging: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” (Proverbs 27:6)

Sometimes, out of her love and faithfulness, a friend has to reveal a truth unseen or unveil a deception unrecognized. And. It. Hurts. When this happens—and it will within true, godly friendships—how will you respond?

Not long ago, I warned my friend of 15 years that a teacher she follows speaks heresies and has some shady connections. I spoke these words kindly—in love—sharing my discernment within Biblical truths. But, despite my emphasis on my love for her, she viciously attacked my intentions and my character. Now, it’s important to note that we’d been through the ringer together, upholding each other through indescribable pain, heartache and trials. She knew my character very well. And my faithful friendship over a decade and a half.

But she didn’t want to delve into a discussion about the situation or talk about our disagreements through a Biblical lens. Her anger quickly built a high, thick wall between us. And, instead of trusting the “wounding” as faithfulness and love, she chose to dissolve our relationship.

Sister, a good friend does love at all times…we need that from each other. But also, we must be brave enough—faithful enough—to wound when necessary in honor of our Lord. You won’t be able to predict the outcome. Your friend may open their eyes to the truth or appreciate the revelation you made as a sister in Christ. Or, she may turn around and walk away for good.

But this is what godly friendship requires of us. So, let me ask again…are you a good friend?

“Lord, help me be an authentic, honest and faithful friend—even when it’s hurtful or hurts. Give me the grace to recognize that the wounds of a real friend can be trusted.”

For His Glory

Julianne Winkler Smith
TRBC Women’s Life